"Something's Up" In America's Big Berg
Selected Poems from The Alaska Mystery Collection
and The Tree Series
by Paula Marie Rose
Sharon, The Mother of us all: Jay, Anna, Paula, Gail, and Mark.
Update November 12, 2008: Added Mom's 6 24 2008 reply about TB.
When I was quite young, probably about 4 years old, I recall my Mother saying more than once to me: "Big Brother is Always watching." When I asked her what she meant by that statement, as my big brother Jay was at school, or busy with his toy cars and other boy interests; she said "Not Jay, Uncle Sam." That was even more confusing as I also have a real Uncle Sam, and he lived thousands of miles away. I could barely see across the street, and my Uncle who lived states away could see me???? I met him for the first time when I was five years old, when we went on our first family vacation.
My Mother explained that "Big Brother is watching" is a term for being spied on, and / or someone watching every move made by another, and "Uncle Sam" is the United States Government, including the President. Wow! The President wanted to know what I was doing? I was impressed, and felt important for a few seconds. Her tone of voice and facial expressions whisked away that moment of glory; as she snarled something unpleasant, but I can't recall what it was. I doubt if she will recall making those statements, but I recall them, and how confusing it was to me.
Some things never change! According to "Sources", Big Brother is still keenly interested in me, and my Mother is the same woman that she was back then.
Mom made some eyebrowraising, but believable, and very unflattering accusations about some family members while I was at her home in November of 2007. Additionally, she made the statement "I've seen enough killing!" during an especially interesting monologue, but I didn't know where my recorder was, and didn't record that rant. Based on my own life and experiences; I'll take her word for it.
Note: According to other family members, and what I saw while I was in their home in November 2007, Mother spends several hours per day watching a variety of "Cop Shows" as my Dad calls them. But the killings she was referring to had nothing to do with what she has seen on TV. I missed an opportunity there! At the end of the diatribe, during which I remained silent, she paused and asked "Any questions?" and was very surprised that I didn't have any. I did, actually. But given the information and subject matter; the FBI would be much more suited to ask them. And the entire event felt rather staged.
She probably won't recall saying any of that, and will use her ever handy excuse of having had a series of strokes. Which she did have, but I found her long term memory to be intact to a degree that would probably stun the medical community. If she ever felt wronged, she remembers each instance, in exact detail.
The small recording device I have was given to me as a present a few years ago, and is complicated to operate. I lost the MANual, and have only managed to have it record in very short segments. I dug round in my carload of possessions and found it; unfortunately after most of the better "stories" coming from my Mother's lips had passed. This one is of her refusing to ride in Dad's car because she claimed that there were fleas in it. Being as the car was in pristine condition, she and I had both ridden in it previously, and they have no pets; I knew that she was putting on a show about that for a reason. My Dad was behaving as if "this too shall pass" after overhearing the Flea outburst, and suggested that I be prepared to go on the drive as we had planned, and later did. No fleas, not another word about it. A staged crock from the get go, but why? Unfortunately, the recorder was somehow not functioning properly, in addition to my limited knowledge of the features, so the clip is very brief. Click here to hear.
It should be noted that my Dad tried every which way he could to get me to agree to his words "she needs psychiatric help" in reference to my Mother. He was rather irritated at my lack of response, and my then pointing out that if she wanted to sit in a darkened room and watch TV for hours a day, or to do or not do other things that he found objectionable; it was her choice.
And who would I be to say that someone needs a shrink, when my family is clamoring for me to make an appointment! Couple that with my Dad placing the label of "paranoid" on me once or twice while I was his house guest; I smell Dead Fish. (read that email in Emails To / From Dad)
In my nonprofessional opinion, my Mother is as sound of mind or better than most people her age, and I was astounded at her agility. My Dad had asked me to wait for her several times outside a Costco, a Chinese restaurant, etc. in case she "needed help" getting to the car. Mom took her sweet time in the Ladies room, and I got in plenty of people watching. Here's a few lines that I sent to Anna, Gail, and Mark in a December 3, 2007 email. In the past, whenever someone was at the Parental Pad; the others couldn't wait to hear how things were going; based on our collective recollection of how Mom and Dad interact with each other. For them not to ask me what was shaking in our family tree was very unusual. Especially since the Prodigal Black Sheep was at the Ranch!!
"Mom gets around just fine. The day I took this pix we went down to see the horse, Abe. She hotfooted it down the roads (paved AND gravel) at a mighty brisk trot, and hollered at the horse like a cheerleader during a touchdown."
I reread the few recent emails that I have between my Mother and me, and decided that they would look too much like FOIA blacked out docs. Mainly, they were about my asking for more details of her stories and statements she told me about in November of 2007, and some of those she had mentioned when I was growing up. I would expect that she would deny "ever saying such things," as she didn't answer the questions in her reply. The most recent email is below; an early birthday greeting to me. I gave my parents my cellular number when I was at their home in November, and my Dad phoned me on approx. December 8, 2007. As expected, my request for her to reply to the previous emails and questions that I had asked her have not been answered, and I sent the last email about them to her in December 2007. Today is April 29, 2008 and I don't expect that I'll be hearing from her anytime soon.
UPDATE: June 7, 2008. Sent an email to Mom yesterday; she may not reply, or may not recall any particulars. My own recall of the meds that Anna and Jay were taking back then was that it was some sort of experimental treatment. I was very young, seems that I was under 5 when the large brown pill bottle appeared in our house. I'm no expert on TB, but they were not sickly by any stretch, but I remember being frightened briefly that they might die (a normal childhood fear) and recalled her mentioning Chest X rays. You bet, the topic of their medical treatments was brought up in that June 2007 interview; as were countless other memories and events that I was able to recall. Due to my high alcohol and stress levels experienced during that "interview/interrogation" I don't recall why those asking the questions wanted to discuss my blood type. They mentioned that it was the same as my Uncle Dale's, and not a common type. I have copies of my medical records from a Juneau medical provider where I received services over much of my adult life which states a different blood type than AB for me. I believe that the blood type on my medical records is correct, based on a blood typing test I recall having at another time. Why would an "agency" mention my blood type, and claim to know that of one of my Uncles? I don't know what his is, and it isn't important to know at this time. The "So What and Who Cared?" is much more important to find out. June 6, 2008 email to Mom in Black below this.
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|Date:||Sat, 8 Mar 2008 15:28:46 -0800 (PST)|
|Subject:||Re: Happy Birthday!!!!|
Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday on your 44th birthday!! Wow, getting up there love, better than the alternative, right? Do you have a mailing address? I don't seem to have one for you, all I have is this e-mail address. Do you have a phone # or a cell phone # so we can call you on your birthday, or other times. too? Best get hot on the taxes,and get them done and sent in. Love, hugs, and kisses, Mom
|Date:||Fri, 6 Jun 2008 11:11:16 -0700 (PDT)|
|From:||"Star" <email@example.com> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert|
|Subject:||It's June already!|