"Something's Up" In America's Big Berg
Selected Poems from The Alaska Mystery Collection
and The Tree Series
by Paula Marie Rose
Due to tight times and other economic factors, I am unable to continue to provide free posters.
There's always a workaround for everything, or as a friend of mine said: "There's always a loophole."
Here's how it works:
I am currently accepting "Love Offerings," or a.k.a. cash donations to me. It's a phrase I learned while attending "New Age" and "Spiritual" enlightenment gigs with either of my sisters. (see "Who is, What is?" section)
Keeps the website going, and me in feed.
Not tax deductible.
What I have on hand are:
A. High quality, glossy finish, two sided business cards, printed with the image you see at the top of each chapter of the Big Berg and the text, with the flip side featuring my shadow self portrait with the featured text.
Send a SASE, and I'll drop a few in the mail to you. Better make that 44 cents postage, as the United States Postal Service is having another rate hike during May of 2009.
B. Suitable for framing! The Infamous Official LAPD Missing Persons Report, which was filed on me by Former Alaska State Trooper, Anna Kathryn Sanders.
See it with your own eyes! Hang it on your bathroom wall, to match my decorating style.
Background for my new readers:
Anna Sanders filed a bogus Missing Person report on me with a division of LAPD on or about July 31, 2007. While reporting me as "missing," she passed herself off as an "officer" of sorts, failed to follow up with "she's back" to LAPD whenever she had decided that I was no longer "missing," lied about her recollection of the MP scenario to me in her voice mail message of November 10, 2007, and somehow miraculously recovered from her incident specific amnesia enough to submit a written affidavit full of details (and plenty of speculation, conjecture, hearsay, and false statements), eleven months after telling me she couldn't recall anything about it, and approximately fifteen months after the manufactured charade occurred. That's verified bad behavior of a civilian, as Anna Sanders hadn't worn an Alaska State Trooper uniform for about a decade prior to filing her Missing Persons report on me.
Imagine the look of surprise on the face of the officer I spoke with, as I stopped by the local branch, approximately twenty (20) months after the alleged incident was to have occurred. Obviously, I wasn't MIA, DOA, or any other acronym, and my file had apparently been deemed unimportant, and of no priority. Good thing, as it's a waste of taxpayers' cash to use valuable police time having them look for someone who was right down the road from their station house, and many uniformed officers from local branches see me daily on the streets and sidewalks of L.A.
Read all about it in the sections with Anna's name, and elsewhere throughout this site.
Printed on high quality Epson paper with genuine Epson inks. If you'd like an autographed copy, please specify. Send a 12 x 13 or larger manila envelope, SASE, use $1 of postage.
C. I do have some 8.5 x 11 prints, and some 13 x 19 posters of the same images as described on the business cards and shown at the beginning of each chapter. Please specify either "Big Berg" and "Long Cool Woman" and the size. These prints are on the highest quality Epson papers, and with Archival Quality Epson Inks.
A copy of each has been in my rear window since May of 2008, and the prints have not faded, even in full sun, coast to coast. As featured in the now well known "Hanging Out the Dirty Laundry" tour from June and July of 2008. Send the appropriate sized SASE.
D. Just a handful of 8.5 x 11 prints from the infamous "Operation Dick Back!" tour from October 2008. You'll laugh when you see the humorous creation. SASE minimum 12 x 13.
I'd be pleased to personalize or autograph any of these items, let me know.
Currently working on artwork, logos, and phrases for the planned coffee mugs, tee shirts, and grocery totes for "Run, Tara, Run!"
Unfortunately, I had to shelve the run for "Frozen Fiefdom" coffee mugs, which would have featured my original artwork, and several phrases.
My favorite was "I'll chew down that BS case crapped out by Eric's Legal Beagle faster than a Chupacabra on a spring lamb. "
(A line in an email from me to Gail Sanders.)
Mail your SASE and specific item request to:
6545 Wilbur Ave. #20
Reseda, CA 91335
Any item autographed upon request.